Four Qualities of a Wholesome Person

Monks, one who possesses four qualities can be understood to be a wholesome person.

What four?

(1) Here, Monks, a wholesome person does not disclose the faults of others even when asked about them, how much less then when not asked. But when he is asked about them, then, led on by questions, he speaks about the faults of others with gaps and omissions, not fully or in detail. It can be understood: This individual is a wholesome person.

(2) Again, a wholesome person discloses the virtues of others even when not asked about them, how much more then when asked. But when he is asked about them, then, led on by questions, he speaks about the virtues of others without gaps and omissions, fully and in detail. It can be understood: This individual is a wholesome person.

(3) Again, a wholesome person discloses his own faults even when not asked about them, how much more then when asked. But when he is asked about them, then, led on by questions, he speaks about his own faults without gaps and omissions, fully and in detail. It can be understood: This individual is a wholesome person.

(4) Again, a wholesome person does not disclose his own virtues even when asked about them, how much less then when not asked. But when he is asked about them, then, led on by questions, he speaks about his own virtues with gaps and omissions, not fully or in detail. It can be understood: This individual is a wholesome person.

One who possesses these four qualities can be understood as a wholesome person.

(Reference: AN 4.73)

In this Teaching from Gotama Buddha, he shares “Four Qualities of a Wholesome Person”. These are not the “only” four qualities that determine whether you are practicing in a wholesome way, but are four of “the” qualities of a wholesome person.

(1) First, a wholesome person would not speak of a person’s faults or mistakes. Instead, they would keep those to themselves without a desire to share them with others. To openly share the faults or mistakes of others would be to gossip and that will only lead to their harm, thus, this harm will come back to you. If you gossip about others, it is only a matter of time before people decide to gossip about you.

A wise Practitioner would see no benefit in gossiping and choose not to gossip. Even if what is potentially being shared is true, it is unbeneficial to share the faults and mistakes of others so, why share them?

The only situation one might choose to share faults and mistakes of others is “when he is asked about them, then, led on by questions”. This might occur in an employment or educational situation when you are asked for an assessment of someone’s performance.

If asked, a wholesome person would “speak about the faults of others with gaps and omissions, not fully or in detail”. A wise Practitioner might choose to share selective challenges with the employee or Student as a way to help them improve in the new opportunity they are moving into. Faults and mistakes should not be shared with malicious intent or to harm the other person but only in an encouraging and positive way to help them continue to grow in their life.

Since you are not perfect, it is not wise to speak of others as if they should be perfect.

Instead, when asked and you are speaking with all the other factors of Right Speech, share areas for improvement, if any, so that the individual can continue to progress in life.

(2) Second, a wholesome person would speak of the “virtues of others even when not asked about them” and “when asked”. In doing so, a wise Practitioner would speak about all of a person’s positive qualities “without gaps and omissions, fully and in detail”.

An Enlightened mind can see the positive and beneficial qualities of everyone. While there may be areas for improvement, all people have positive qualities that can be shared.

When in a situation to share someone’s “virtues”, you can feel comfortable in sharing those as a way to bring people together and not separate people.

As described in the prior example, if asked to discuss a person’s faults or mistakes in an employment or educational situation, share those as needed in a positive way but also include the positive qualities or virtues of the individual as well. Be sure to provide a balanced and well rounded perspective that helps the individual continue to grow and progress in life.

If you feel that there is truly nothing good to say whatsoever, then, it is best to say nothing at all.

(3) Third, a wholesome person would speak of their own faults and mistakes, when appropriate and when asked “without gaps and omissions, fully and in detail”.

You do not need to share this information unless it is appropriate in a given situation. Being unwilling to share your own faults or mistakes would tend to indicate there is ego present in the mind. To eliminate the ego, a Practitioner would need to be comfortable with understanding and sharing their faults and mistakes as appropriate in a given situation. An Enlightened being would need to have eliminated the ego to attain Enlightenment, and being willing and able to disclose your own faults and mistakes will help the mind practice being humble.

(4) Fourth, a wholesome person does not disclose his own “virtues even when asked about them” and definitely not when not asked about them. Should a Practitioner choose to speak glowingly of their own virtues when not asked about them, this would be arrogant, prideful, and boastful indicating that there is ego present in the mind. Doing so, an individual is typically rejected by others as arrogance, pride, and being boastful only serves to separate you from others making it difficult to have wholesome relationships.

When asked about your own virtues, The Buddha shares that one should speak “with gaps and omissions, not fully or in detail”. Doing so, one is practicing being humble and “down to earth” rather than arrogant, prideful, or boastful.

If the mind is eager to speak of your own virtues, this is due to the ego and will only result in unwholesome results. A wise being only needs to walk with wisdom and a smile. A wise being does not have the desire for admiration of others with desire for others to acknowledge their wisdom. When you know the truth and have acquired wisdom, you know that for yourself and do not need others’ validation. A wise Practitioner has already independently verified the truth to acquire wisdom and have validated that wisdom on their own with guidance from a Teacher. But, if the mind projects arrogance, pride, and is boastful due to the acquired wisdom, it will only serve to push people away from you.

In summary, speak of others in positive ways and only share beneficial thoughts on improvements one might consider when asked while adding in a person’s virtues.

Never speak of another person’s faults or mistakes when not asked and when asked, only in appropriate settings like employment or educational settings.

Speak of your own positive qualities when asked and when appropriate never being arrogant, prideful, or boastful. There is no need to speak of your positive qualities at any other time unless asked and in doing so, one should practice being humble without a need to share every single detail unless needed for employment or educational settings. And even in those settings, you will find being humble will have the most beneficial outcome.

This Teaching is shared to help you develop your own wholesome qualities not to be used for you to judge if others are or are not wholesome. These Teachings are for your own personal growth on The Path to Enlightenment and at no time should a Practitioner judge others looking down on them with arrogance or pride. Doing so would only harm your own mind.