You Cannot Control the Gecko

Here in Thailand, it is common to have several geckos in the house at any given time. They are tiny little lizards that slip into the house through cracks and other small openings. It would be nearly impossible to keep them out.

The geckos actually help a bit by eating spiders, ants, and other little creatures. But they also “poop” (i.e. defecate) in various places, leaving little markings here and there that need to be cleaned up.

“I do not mind sharing the house with the geckos but, it sure would be nice if they did not poop everywhere.”

Well, a few years ago, there was a regular occurrence of a gecko “pooping” right smack in the middle of my toothbrush.

Every time I needed to brush my teeth, I first needed to rinse the bristles to remove the little bit of gecko poop that had been nicely planted right in the middle of the toothbrush.

This went on for several days until I finally decided to apply something from The Path to Enlightenment that completely resolved the entire issue.

I realized:

“You cannot control the gecko but, you can control your own choices and decisions.”

In the same way, you cannot control other people, but you can make wiser choices about how you respond to them.

So rather than continuing to leave the toothbrush face up on a flat surface and hoping the gecko would somehow change its behavior, I decided to change my own behavior.

I started putting the toothbrush face down.

This completely solved the issue. The gecko has never again “pooped” on the toothbrush.

You Cannot Control Other People

What you come to understand through your own observations in life on The Path to Enlightenment is that you cannot control other people.

You cannot control what they think.

You cannot control what they say.

You cannot control what they do.

You cannot control the perceptions other people have of you.

So why even try? It is pointless.

But you can control your own choices and decisions.

And with wisdom, you can make wiser choices and decisions that lead to more wholesome outcomes.

It is The Teachings of The Buddha that lead to the cultivation of wisdom. As wisdom develops, you become increasingly capable of making choices and decisions that lead towards more wholesome outcomes in your life.

Rather than wasting your time and energy attempting to control other people, you can observe the situation clearly and ask yourself:

“What choices and decisions can I make?”

You cannot control the other person.

You cannot change what they think, say, or do.

But you can change how you respond.

You can make a different choice.

You can make a wiser decision.

And sometimes, that one simple change can completely resolve the challenge.

So, when you find yourself struggling and wanting to control others, just remember:

“You cannot control the gecko but, you can flip over your toothbrush.”

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David Roylance is a dedicated Practitioner, Teacher, and published author who has taught The Teachings of The Buddha since 2005. Based in Chiang Mai, Thailand, he guides Household and Ordained Practitioners worldwide through courses, retreats, and special events on The Path to Enlightenment.